Something is lost
by Delphinesmith99
Summary: When Annie works in Lena's Division in Season 3. Joan's thoughts.
POV Joan :

Hi, I'm Joan Campbell. I work for the CIA, as the chief of the DPD (Domestic Protection Division). I'm blond and my eyes are blue. My husband Arthur is my boss, yeah, I think it's strange too. I love him very much but sometimes I can't decide if I talk to my husband or to my boss. It's confusing. Who is he for me when he takes a decision ? Who am I for him if he doesn't agree with my opinion ? It really is disturbing to be in a situation like that. But I don't complain. What could I do that for ? It would be silly. And I can handle that. I do. I've seen worse in my life.

Since a few years, a new operative is under my orders. Her name is Annie Walker. She's as blond as I am. Exept her eyes are brown. She could be just like any other operative. I could be cold and distant with her, just like I do with newcomers usually. But I can't be like that with her. I try to treat her as the others, but I can't be mean with Annie. I just can't. She reminds me of myself so much ! She's always so impulsive too ! And she always looks like her puppy is dead when I get angry. I think I like her more than I want to tell to myself. But she's so annoying sometimes ! And in the same time, she's probably the best agent I've seen in years. She doesn't listen to me very often, but she has results. I should be angry because she never do something the way I told her to do so, and when she has a theory, you can't make her agree to your own. It's impossible. She works here since a few years, and I still can't get used to how she does things. I don't know why, I want to protect her. Each time she's in danger, I pull a few strings to save her. She's the most important person in the DPD to me, even if I care about the others too.

But today, she's been reaffected to another division. And she was here when Jai died. Apparently, she forgot her umbrella and was only wounded to the head. I've been told it's not dangerous for her health. I was worried when I first heard of it. Right now, I see her enter the DPD. She doesn't know yet that she isn't part of my division anymore. I explain it to her, looking at her to see how she reacts. She seems lost, suddently. Does she like me a little ? I tell her that she's advencing in her carrier, and she doesn't seem to care. She has this familiar look in her face, the one she has when I get angry at her. And with her brown eyes, it's worse for me to bear. I almost want to say to her that she can stay in my division if she wants to. But I can't tell her that. It would be false. And I don't want to give her false hopes. She would also know that I sort of care about her. I don't want her to know that. I don't know what she thinks of me, and I don't know how she would react. I'm her boss, I shouldn't consider her as a friend. If anybody went to know that, Annie would be send somewhere else. You can make friends in the office, but you can't be friends with one of the operatives.

She stares at me, probably trying to understand all I said before. Then a woman tells her she must go to the polygraph. This is about Jai's death, I'm sure. Annie suddently looks scared. Her face is so easy to read ! She asks me if the agency thinks she has something to do with Jai's death. I tell her before leaving her that she has nothing to worry about, it's some routine thing. I don't even trust myself when I say that, so I go away from her quickly, not letting her answer to me. She must be looking at me with her big brown eyes, surprised. I left pretty quickly.

The day after, when I enter in the elevator, I find her there, staring at the void. I go beside her. She seems a little nervous. She tells me that she goes in her new division. When she says the localisation of the office, I immediately know where she's heading to. Lena Smith's Division. She seems surprised to know that I know Lena. Yes, I know her ! And there's nothing on earth I hate most than her. I don't show it to Annie, but I'm boiling inside. I hate this woman, and she took Annie from me ! It's not a good thing. I have a bad feeling. Lena is so very different ! She will allow Annie to do whatever she wants. I'm worried that Annie will like Lena more than me. No, Joan, stop this, it's ridiculous. But still, Lena is my biggest ennemy, and Annie is in her Division now ! I stay calm as if the news hadn't startled me. I tell her to follow her instinct, and I go out because I arrived on my floor. It's strange, not having her around. And I won't see her often, because Lena doesn't like to stay behind a office. Annie will be on the field all the time.

Arthur took Auggie from me and he put him in the Special Projects' Office. I feel insecure. First Annie, and now Auggie...Who's next ? Am I going to be alone in the DPD at the end ?

I want Annie and Auggie to work together on a file. Lena won't be happy, but I really need them to work both on that. Arthur thinks I do that only because I hate Lena, but I'm not. Or not entirely. When Arthur accepts to let them pair, I go out of his office where the two of them are waiting. Annie seems to be tired, but this mission can't wait. And I have Arthur's agreement now. She seems quite surprised by what I said to Auggie and her. I leave the room. She doesn't have the time to react. I'm already gone.

When they call me later, they seem to be disagreeing. Auggie wants to make the hacker work for the CIA, but when I ask Annie if they can do that, she seems angry at Auggie. They must have argued about that before calling me. He says that they can go and talk to the waitress in a coffee shop. Annie doesn't say anything, but I think she desagrees. I'm against this myself. There's not enough to try. I tell them to take the plane and return in America, since they were in Spain. Auggie hung up. It was surprising. It was the first time Annie agreed with me. Strange. She never listenned to me before, but here, she did. Very curious. Maybe she understood that orders are made to be followed ?

When they returned from Spain, I told Annie that she hadn't listenned to me. Again. They didn't return when I told them, but the following day. Auggie had surely changed her mind. I was reproching her that she didn't follow my orders when I say a brunette behind them. She was growling about the plane. I was happily surprised because they had returned with the hacker. And she was...interresting, I'd say. Annie was grinning from ear to ear, seeing my face. I heard her giggle when I walked with the woman.

Auggie was kidnapped by pirates. And they wanted a randsom. I was in Lena's division because I cared about Auggie. And much to my surprise, Annie stood up against me. She took Lena's side. They wanted to hide from the pirates that Auggie had been in the Special Forces. I was sorrowful to see Annie betraying me like this. It ended up I was right. The pirats increased the price. Lena had it all wrong. I saw Annie's pained expression when she saw that. I had been right. Letting Annie go in this Division would bring only trouble. I felt insecure and betrayed. It was silly. Annie was just an operative. But I liked her like a friend, and pain hit me when she didn't take my side, which was the right side.

At one moment, Annie went to answer to a phone call. I saw that she was smiling while talking. Who was that ? When she returned in the operations room, she told Lena that « It was him » and they didn't comment on the call. I felt out of the game. And I was upset that Annie and Lena shared something I didn't know about. I hated Lena even more for that. And I hated myself for these thoughts. I had no reason to pay attention to those two. No reason at all. I just felt things were going to get worse soon. Lena was a complicated woman, but she was also smart. And I was worried for Annie. Maybe I was also jealous of Lena because she had Annie in her Division now.


End file.
